A rainy day
by rei-ko-naissance
Summary: Its raining heavily and Rachel is missing, what will Cuddy do? - Post season 8, no changes to the plot.


**A/N: **My first House md fic, and possibly huddy fic, might be a bit oocish. I'm sorry if the summary isnt that good. I wrote it in a daze and haven't really edited it, but yes, reviews are welcome and needed.

I don't know what genre to put this under, but for now I'll go with the ones I have.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House md because if only.

* * *

It was a rainy day, the skies poured relentlessly, the dark sky illuminated now and then by lightning and loud thunder. A little girl was sitting by the window staring longingly at the drenched world outside while her hands picked absentmindedly at a coloured cube. She remembered asking her mother if she could go outside and play, to which her mother had all but thrown a fit and had told her about how getting wet in the rain was a bad thing for her health and how she would end up with a cold, but the little girl could see no possible reason why she shouldn't go outside, because it was just water from the skies, and she took a bath in water every day, so why should this be any different?

She carefully got off her perch, making sure she made as little noise as possible so as to not wake her mother, who happened to be sleeping on the couch right behind, and tip toed all the way to her room. Then, stretching out as far as she possibly could with her little arms, she got her coat off the hook and rummaged her things for a bright red hat. Putting her coat and her hat on she headed towards the hall again. After checking up on her still sleeping mother, the little girl with the bright red hat put on her boots and ran quickly to the door and reaching for the handle, she pulled hard with bated breath as the big door opened to let the cool, moist breeze in along with tiny rain droplets that landed on her awestruck face. Inhaling the cold air heavily the little girl cast one glace behind her before stepping into the downpour.

...

"Ma'am?"

A stern voice broke into Lisa Cuddy's thoughts as her eyes focussed on her surroundings once more. Everything seemed so surreal, the empty house, the open door, the scattered blocks. She looked at the officer seated in front of her and shook her head a little to clear her thoughts.

"Where did you see her last?" the officer asked again, eyeing Lisa with big hazel eyes.

"Uhm… She was… She was…"

"Ma'am, I know this must be tough for you but we need to know." the officer said noticing her discomfort.

"Well she was with me, right here. I was on the couch, she was sitting by that window, playing with her blocks." For a woman who had previously run an entire hospital, her voice shook uncharacteristically as she recalled the events, "I… I must have fallen asleep. When I woke up she wasn't… there anymore." And then it came, her first sob.

"Ma'am, is there anything in particular that you think may have led to this?" the officer asked again, all the while taking down notes on a pad. Outside it was still raining as hard as ever, though the sky was several shades darker than she remembered. _The rain._

"The rain." Cuddy mumbled.

"I'm sorry?" the officer said looking up from her notes.

"The rain! Rachel said that she wanted to go out and play and I didn't let her! I thought she understood that because she didn't say anything after! Oh god, this is all my fault."

"Now, ma'am, it's best not to get ahead of ourselves."

"Or, what, do you think she was kidnapped? From our house? You think that's the better option?" Cuddy was almost shouting now, tears streaming down her angry face.

"No, ma'am, you need to calm down…" the officer began, trying to console the desolate mom.

"She's my daughter! And she's been missing for over three hours! So don't you dare tell me to calm down." Cuddy glared at the officer in front of her, her nostrils flaring wildly as she tried to control her sobs.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I assure you we'll do our best to find her. Is there anything else I need to know? Any places that you think she might go to?"

"I've already given you the list of places she could have gone to, but other than that there's nowhere else I can think of," Cuddy paused, a sudden address flashing across her memory, one that she had all but buried deep within her memory. Shrugging it off she continued, "If there's anything else I'll call. But please, please get her back to me." _Safely._

"Yes, ma'am, that is our number one priority right now." And with that the officer left, running out of the door as the rain came down even heavier than before. Cuddy stood in the doorway as she watched the woman get insider her car and signal her fellow officer who had been snooping around the house to do the same. Minutes later they drove leaving her standing in there, alone, hoping that the child she had wished for so hard was safe and sound.

Cuddy stood there for a while, forgetting how cold it was, forgetting how wet she had gotten, a blank expression on her face as her unfocussed eyes rested on the lawn, images of Rachel filling her mind, making her blind to what was going on around her. She missed the silhouette that had walked up to her, missed the words uttered by it and missed the hand that now rested on her shoulder.

"Cuddy!" She broke out of her reverie to find Foreman standing in front of her, a look of concern on his face.

"Are you alright?" she heard him say as he shook her gently, making sure she listened to him.

"I uh…"

"How long have you been standing here? You're soaking wet!"

A while later they were seated on the couch, each sipping warm tea. Cuddy was in fresh, dry clothes with a towel across her shoulders; her hair was still dripping.

"How did you…?" Cuddy trailed off.

"I got a call from the police, asking if I had seen your daughter." Foreman stated, taking a sip from his cup.

"And have you?" Cuddy continued.

"Lisa…"

"Have you?" She repeated.

"No, I have not."

"And the hospital? Did you check there?"

"Yes, they're still checking."

"And you left?"

"I knew you were alone…"

"I don't need you here! I need you in the hospital, looking for her!" her voice rose a considerable amount by the end of the sentence.

"Lisa, everyone is searching for her!"

"But you're not! She could be anywhere!" fresh tears were streaming down the former dean of medicine's face, "She five years old!"

"Lisa you have to calm down." Foreman said as he put his arms around his ex-boss, enveloping the sobbing woman into a hug.

"It's all my fault!" she said in between sobs, shaking violently as she did so.

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't any body's fault!" Foreman replied, patting her back now and then.

"You don't know that!"

"And neither do you." said Foreman, pushing her back a little to look at her face, "What you need to do now is to calm down and wait. They well find Rachel, I promise you that."

"What if she's…" But she was cut off before she could complete that sentence.

"Don't do that to yourself. Everyone's looking for her. _We _are all looking for her. Now, what you need to do is to be brave and wait, while…" but Foreman paused as his beeper went off. Sighing, he took it off his belt and checked it; some patient had crashed and they needed his help.

"Listen, Lisa," Foreman said as he got off the couch and put on his jacket, "Anything happens, anything at all, give me a call. Give Chase a call. Call any one at all. And be brave." He smiled a little and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before heading out into the pelting rain. And then she was alone again.

It was sometime past 10 at night, though it felt infinitely longer as Cuddy sat at the window, where hours ago her daughter had sat, gazing out into the darkness. In the past few hours she had had numerous people calling her, checking up on her, but none of them had even the slightest clue and to where her daughter was.

And suddenly she was reminded of the address she had tried so hard to forget, the things she had buried deep within the untouched vaults in her memory, all those times, all those feelings. _His _address, _him. _

She let out a small chuckle at the irony of it all, of remembering the one man whom she knew would never be able to help her, not even if she wanted him to. After that terrible day when _he _had all but crashed into her house, she had sworn never to be associated with the man ever again, but now as she sat there, alone, waiting for something, anything about her daughter, she couldn't help but thinking about _him. _

Knowing _him, _he'd have probably found Rachel by now, being the genius he was. He would have probably added together clues and deduced where and why she had gone missing. And then he would have pranced back with Rachel in his arms, gloating in all his self-righteous, narcissistic glory.

But even if she wanted to, she couldn't as him to help her, not now, not any more.

It was almost a year ago since that unforgettable phone call.

_She was in the middle of paperwork when her phone suddenly began to ring. She checked the caller ID and frowned a little as she saw the name flashing across her screen._

"_What do you want, Wilson?" Cuddy snapped, putting down her pen and massaging her temples. _

"_Are you free right now?" Wilson spoke from across the line in a serious tone._

"_Why, what's wrong?" Cuddy asked feeling a sense of foreboding._

"_House is…" Wilson began but seemed to be unable to continue the sentence._

"_If this has to do with House, then I don't care. You can deal with that-" but Wilson cut her off midway._

"_He's __**dead**__." _

What had followed was a minute of silence where neither had spoken a word, both still willing their brains to register the information. The rest of the phonecall had included details of what had happened, something about fire and drugs, none of which interested Cuddy in the least, and at the end of it all Wilson had cut the call with an "I'm sorry, Cuddy."

Five months later they told her Wilson was gone too. Cancer, apparently. And as she sat there staring at the never-ending rain, she couldn't help but miss the two men and their two-sides-of-a-coin personalities. She missed how Wilson would have eased her anxiety, how he would have spent hours reassuring her while House searched for her daughter. She missed the unwavering faith his eyes always held when he spoke of House. She missed watching their friendship first-hand, a friendship that had lasted through perhaps all trials.

If only she had been more like him, then perhaps… No, she was not going to let herself think along those lines, not again. What was done was done. What was more important was for her to find her daughter, for Rachel was the only thing that kept her sane these days. After House's death, Cuddy had all but retreated from social life and relationships, and began devoting her entire time to her new job and her daughter. She had had a lifetime's worth of bad experiences and all she wanted now was to be a good mom to her only daughter, and that was all she needed to be content with her life.

But as the clock ticked by, she grew more and more anxious, her brain feeding her alarming scenarios that Rachel might be stuck in. All at once Cuddy started to weep again, her body rocking back and forth as she sobbed into her hands.

All of a sudden the doorbell rang, making her heart stop for a second before it started to pound even harder as she scrambled her way to the door. Scrubbing clumsily at her tear stricken face she pulled the door open and looked out into the night only to have her heart stop for another second.

There was a man at her doorsteps, dressed in drenched clothes, his face covered by the hood of his jacket, and in his arms was a sleeping Rachel. Letting out a cry, Cuddy took her from his arms, one hand reflexively checking her vitals, and headed into the warmth of her house. She put her sleeping daughter on the couch and rushed back to the door only to find the man walking away.

"Hey! Wait a second! Hey!" Cuddy shouted as she rushed out into the rain. She finally caught up to him, which was rather easy since the man was walking rather slowly, and grabbed his shoulder to make him stop, "Hey! Uhm th-thank you. Where did you…" but she trailed off in surprise as the man began to speak in a pronounced British accent.

"Oh no problem at all. I found her at the park, passed out on the grass. Clever kid, she is. Had an address on her. You keep an eye out though, in case she goes a-missin' again." and with that the man turned to leave again, limping a little this time. _Limping._

"Hang on a minute, an address?" Cuddy stopped him again, this time stepping directly in front of him, trying to get a good look at his face.

"Yes, she had a paper with your address written on it. Now, please, if you don't mind…" the man tried to leave again, pushing her aside while doing so. And then it happened, Cuddy grabbed onto his sleeve and in the process tugged on his hood a little, revealing his face which was then illuminated by a rather well timed lightning flash. Though the light was momentary, Cuddy remembered the face she saw as though her mind had clicked a picture; the striking blue eyes, the stubble, the omnipresent scowl. She stood there motionless, her eyes fixed on his now darkened face, a hand loosely holding on to his sleeve.

"Can I go now?" the phoney accent was gone, replaced by impatience and something else that registered in the back of Cuddy's brain as nostalgia. It was then that she made a decision.

Tightening her grip on his sleeve she all but yanked him inside her house, closing the door behind, coming to a halt in the hall. Turning back once she glanced at her sleeping daughter, and then back at the man in front of her whose face was still hidden by the oh-so-infuriating hood. She reached for it but he caught her wrist mid-air.

"Don't." he said, the warning in his voice not affecting her in the least. She stretched her other hand and this time managed to hold on to it and slowly tugged it back.

"No… Don't…" he began but she heard him sigh as he gave in and let her pull back the drenched material. Her widened as her brain registered the face with a name she thought she would never hear again. House looked like he had aged several years since the last time she had seen him, his eyes looked more miserable than ever, his beard more unkempt that ever. She watched as his eyes darted from her to the room and then back at her as said in what was a wane attempt to ease the tension around them, "Not dead?"

_Crack_. Cuddy swore that her slap had been louder than the thunder it had so coincidentally coincided with, and as she watched him standing there in front of her, stroking his cheek where he had been hit, she knew he was trying to figure out a way to get out of the scenario as quickly as he could. After all this time, she knew the man had not changed a bit, and that they were back to their conversations where she would try so hard to get him to answer something and all he would do is deflect. _Always._

"I thought you were… - sob-" Cuddy paused, the aching lump in her through preventing her from continuing.

"I'm not." came the straight reply, which only made her feel worse.

"But you were…-sob-"

"Well, I'm not."

"But you were dead!" she was punching him now, repeatedly, each hit punctuated by a sob. She waited for him to say something but all he did was stand there motionless as she cried into his drenched jacket. And then he did something she hadn't expected him to do. He let out a long sigh and just put his arms around her, one hand running up and down her back in a soothing motion.

"You know, we are kinda creating a puddle." she heard him speak after a while.

"I don't care." came her muffled response.

"Rachel will catch a cold." He then said unexpectedly, and though she wanted nothing more than to question why, she knew Rachel needed her more. She broke away from his arms, and wiping her face on her sleeves headed towards the sleeping child. An hour later she was tucking Rachel into bed while House stood by the doorway, his blue eyes seeming distant.

"Where did you find her?" She whispered, taking care not to wake her sleeping child.

"The park." he whispered back.

"That's impossible, they searched for her there." she turned back, looking at him accusingly. He opened his mouth the retort but she held up her finger and silenced him. She then got off the bed and waited till she got out of the room and shut the door behind her before she let him continue.

"I found her in the park. I didn't say I left her there." he said in a slightly louder voice as he followed her back to the couch.

"You mean you took her somewhere?" and suddenly her anger was back. He hadn't changed a bit! He was still the immature, insensitive prick- but she cut off her inner monologue as she saw his expression change to one that she had rarely seen him put on.

"Wilson's dead." he said, as if uttering those words were the most painful thing he had ever done.

"I heard." Cuddy said in a sombre tone.

"I…" he paused, turning his piercing blue gaze directly at her, "I missed you. I missed Rachel. I don't know why, but I did." and there it was, that pained expression on his face, one that he let on only when the pain he felt was beyond unbearable and there was nothing he could do to ease it, because while House could handle physical pain, what he did not know was how to handle psychological pain.

"I'm sorry." he continued, "I know I worried you. I know that was not the right thing to do. So I'll do you a favour and remove myself from your lives again." He finished in a low tone, his gaze trained at the carpet.

"So you're just going to disappear again?" Cuddy said, ignoring the fact that House had clearly ended the conversation.

"I'm dead, Cuddy. Technically I do not exist."

"And yet here you are. And yet here _we _are."

"No." his piercing gaze was locked onto hers again, "I am not going through that again."

"That being?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Cuddy."

"House…"

"Don't."

"House, you need someone."

"No I don't! That's exactly what I don't need! I was happy alone, I have been happy alone. And I will be happy alone!" She could see the frustration on his face, the years of misery, the years of pain and suffering.

"House…" she said softly, placing a hand gently on his cheek, "You need someone." And then there was doubt in those blue eyes. Pain and doubt and betrayal all swirling within those brilliant blue orbs as his mind worked its way through this.

"I don't need you." he said, finally, "_You _don't need me."

"I _do._"

"No, you don't. We've been through this, you know what it ends up like." There was hurt now, swirling among the many other emotions that this man had bottled up for so long.

"House…" Cuddy said barely above a whisper as she watched a tear roll down his face, and suddenly those blue eyes held conviction within them and Cuddy knew he had made a decision and there was no talking him out of it.

"_I _don't need you."

And with that, he was gone.

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**A/N: **I have other fics to finish and yet here I am. Nevertheless, this. Its a bit unfinished. I might continue it. Maybe. Depends on you guys really. Read and review and I shall love you~!


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